pg dn

the dark cloud came back.
the dark cloud.
the.

~-~

This Bowl is Super.

The slap bet went down, but i didn't try. Rob got 10 numbers, Robert got 4 numbers. The end. We're done with that. Thank God.
---
So. Exciting news. I just bought a new album (well. not new. it came out in 2004) and I love it almost too much. It's called Future Perfect by Autolux. Very heavy and dark stuff, bordering on shoegaze and noise rock at points.

Here:


And here:


And certainly here:


we had our last winter track meet of the season, the state meet. the big deal. and it went swimmingly. our 4x400 team improved by 6 seconds, and a couple people placed in individual events. not bad, considering we're a small school.

GODBEWITHYOUTILWEMEETAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAINAGAIN

~-~

Calling It Off.

it's 12 minutes into today. but i need to talk.

i was thrown into this. and i played along for awhile, thinking, oh i can do this. but i can't. the fact of the matter is that i suffer from a lack of confidence. that tacked on to the fact that i feel socially awkward and, by the same hand, AM socially awkward. this therefore isn't fair to me. it's not that i'm afraid of girls, it's that i'm afraid of rejection, and a furthering of my lack of confidence and self-esteem. oh, but god forbid i back out. because then i get hurt. so the only way out of physical or mental pain is to just say i don't want to do it, and i don't want to get punished for doing it. and i don't feel like this makes me less of a man. it just means that i have this thing. it's called dignity.

The fact that I'm even spewing forth all of this drama about a stupid comical bet is ridiculous, and it shouldn't be the case. it's not fun like it seemed to be at first. at first it was a great concept. but there's been so much bickering. what's the point? it's almost gotten to the point where it's threatening the welfare of our friendship, for christsakes. And I will admit, that I've caused the most tumult. But it's for what is a morethanvalid raeson.

Either way, i'd end up damaged. so fuck it.
sorry to be a let down.
but maybe i'm doing you both a favor as well.

~-~

BOOM BOOM SLAP, BOOM BOOM SLAP.

so i started writing another song. the first part's like a waltz-ish thing and then it kind of dissolves into an ambient ending. these are the lyrics i have thus far, it's surprisingly straightforward and it's all very elementary. but i'll say that 'that's what i was aiming for':

---
i could write you a story
i could write you a song
i could write you 10,000 words
but it'd all come out wrong.

so goodbye.

standing in the shadow of a UPS truck
standing in the shadow of a UPS truck
The man in brown said 'How are you today?'
and we ran away to our mothers.

on the way down
i slip into dream
of the way
our dragons used to be.
on the way down
to tennessee
i slip into dream.

ooooon theeeeeeeee waaaaaay doooooown.

ahhh-ahhh-ahhh-ahhh...
---
in other news, i got slapped early today, because the two other competitors found out that I had made truces with both of them so that I wouldn't get slapped. I thought it was clever, but they didn't see the humor in it. Luckily, I wasn't the only one who was slapped early, because Robert was planning on meeting a girl he knew and getting one of her numbers. His slap, for some ungodly reason, was much weaker than mine was. Eliza (our slap commissioner) dealt out a good one to me, and it stung on my whole walk home.

The competition is still tomorrow, and I'm still frightened, even though I feel as though I have strategies.
- use a French accent on one girl 'Euh, pardons-moi, but i do not know where to find The Road by Cor-MACK Mack-ar-THEE.
- talk about an album and eventually my music to another girl.
- drop a bunch of stuff near a girl.

None of this will work, and I'll end up with 0 numbers, but it's wishful thinking.
---
I'm going to a friend's house. thus, i bid you farewell.

~~~~-~~~~

pas vraiment.

i only played chess once in my life and i lost.
song du jour (great video as well!!):

rob, robert, and I have a slap bet going on. As in, the losers get slapped by the winner. the bet is on who can get the most numbers from a girl in the time span of two hours. I don't expect to win. I mean. just look at this picture:


I look like I just ate a lemon and saw someone die at the same time.

This is what I expect will transpire while I try to pick up girls.:
- *walks up to girl* "Hi."
- "Hi."
- "I like the book you're looking at. It's a good book."
- "Oh really?"
- "*ahem* uh, yeah."
- "What do you like about it?"
- "Can I have your number?"
- "...wait, what?"
- "Um. It's a, it's a thing."
- "What are you talking about?"
- "Y'know." *runs away*

So, ultimately, I will end up slapped. But I don't mind, it should be a jolly good time anywho.
I shall update you in due time.

~-~
and now for my top 5 favorite lyrics (in no particular order):
5. "I'll be waiting/with a gun and a pack of sandwiches" - from Radiohead's Talk Show Host
4. "Sad I'm gonna die. Hope it's gonna happen later, later than I think." - from Pinback's Tripoli
3. "When I die, I'm leaving you my feet/ When you die, you can stand up for me" - from Wolf Parade's Fancy Claps
2. "Changed my mind so much I can't even trust it, my mind changed me so much I can't even trust myself." - from Modest Mouse's Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset
1. "We must blend into the choir, sing as static with the whole/ We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul" - from Bright Eye's At The Bottom of Everything

GOODNIGHT
~0~

February 3rd.

Is the day that this happened.



Mimas got my video and they liked it, saying 'I could be in their band'. So then they reposted it, and it got all these likes and awesome comments. This made me so happy.

That's really all I have to say. This made my year already.

~-~

Trivial.

I'm finding a job tomorrow, apparently. This is all at once exciting and overwhelming. I'm not sure how to feel about it.

The song of the day is Boyz by M.I.A. Best beat i've heard in some time. Unfortunately, I can't embed it on here. So here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBX3lo3Boxs

Today, Me (I don't care that that usage of 'me' is grammatically incorrect), Rob, Robert, and several others attended trivia night at Wings Your Way as we normally do. We were expecting to beat drunk college kids like we tend to do, but this week the questions were absolutely impossible. "How many muscles are there in a cat's ear?" "In which state is the town of Dingdong located?" I mean. Literally trivial stuff that no one in their right mind could ever figure out.



Today's been weird. It felt like there's been a dark cloud hanging over my head. I had to take a nap just to shake the cloud, something I never do. It was a conglomeration of the trivia night fail, the fact that I didn't have piano lessons as planned, the dreary school day, the semi-eye-opening eavesdropping I did today that I don't want to get into. Maybe it's the fact that I did so much yesterday and today I did nothing but just kind of idle. All of these things just added up and smacked me square in the nose.
---
Here's that third video I was in that was uploaded yesterday. Definitely one of the best things I've uploaded onto YouTube.




---
The first half is in slow-motion. It opens with a visibly bruised face looking down at her notebook introspectively underneath a big oak tree, all in color. The oak tree is essentially her one safe haven, the one place where she can be at ease. The shot focuses in on the notebook, which fades slowly into her real life, in a darkish blackandwhite. Shots follow include her parents yelling at her, her boyfriend abusing her, dropping her books. It then shows her sneaking out of her parents house at night and then arriving at the oak tree. We get her perspective as she approaches her safety net, before cutting immediately back to more black and white images of her troubled life. Then we see her sneaking out again, doing the same thing, only this time instead of the oak tree fading into color as she approaches, we see construction equipment in place of the tree.

This begins the second half, all in black and white. She screams and cries out at the loss of her home, and immediately starts slashing tires and yelling at the men working away at the trees. The men respond violently and start chasing her. The music continues building as the chase between the girl and the workers intensifies. More and more people get involved. The gap closes and closes and closes. And then the climax. She gets caught up in the wave of people attacking her, hit into submission. We see the fists coming down left and right from her perspective as they fade in and out, smattered with dream-like images, a result of her dwindling consciousness. The film ends with the crowd dispersing as the police arrive, the lights flashing in red and blue, contrasting the black and white starkly.

This is what I visualize when I hear the song 'Untitled #8' by Sigur Ros. I want to film it, but I don't have the amount of people or editing software necessary. Which is a shame, because I think it's a decent enough concept.

Time to publish. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

~-~

BUSY START TO THE MONTH.

THREE videos were uploaded involving me today, one on my main channel, one on 3kewldoods, and one on 'sekretaccount'. as i'm writing this, the 3kewldoods one is still publishing.

this first one has a little bit of a backstory behind it.
I was improvising on the piano one day and came across the melody to the song 'Dads' by Mimas, which also turns out to be one of my favorite songs period. Since Mimas, for some insane reason, do not have many fans on their Facebook page and they use it often, I told them that I had done this. I wasn't expecting any response to this, but then they responded saying "Post it then!" I freaked out a little bit on the inside. A couple days later, I film a video with me playing the song and upload it onto YouTube. I just posted it on their Facebook page, and now I'm anxiously awaiting their response.

VIDEO 1:


and VIDEO 2, that weird film I was talking about last night:


That's all I have time for today, I'm 'fraid. I need to upload the 3kewldoods video and get a semi-goodnight's sleep.

Something better tomorrow!

|~-~|

End of month one.

Instead of seeing The Hurt Locker last night, I ended up seeing this:

And I must say, that it was one of the best 'horror' movies I've ever seen. There was an ideal mix of dark comedy and decent scares, and it had one of the most kickass and satisfying endings to a movie i've seen in a long time.
-
several of my friends came over today for a festive party, in which there was conversation and pasta. We also spontaneously shot an experimental video. It's GOING to be the most successful video on YouTube, because it's the greatest thing that's ever been committed to tape. not even an exaggeration.

it's a complete exaggeration.

but it will be uploaded onto my channel in the hopefully near future.
-
After my amazing three-day weekend, it's back to school tomorrow. Let the hellish second semester begin. 3 AP tests, SATs in June. Fuuuuu-But then summer shall arrive and I will be free to do whatever I want, since I'm probably not going to have a job again. Because I don't have a car to get to the job. Because I have no means of getting a car. This is going to be a great summer, the last few months I'll have with the vast majority of mes amis.
-
i've made it through the first month of this blog, and I'm extraordinarily proud of this. I want to thank all of you guys for the 690 views this blog's gotten in the past month, that's simply OUTSTANDING. It's all y'all that keep this thing going.

See you in February. (!)

~-~

gimme shelter.

for 4 hours today, 7:30 AM - 11:30 AM, several members of my school and I were volunteers here:


Our main tasks were to prepare food boxes for families of five to six people, organize the food that was delivered, and make sure that people took just what they were supposed to. (my station was the dessert station: you can take something from the shelf, and something from the box. no sir, just ONE thing from the shelf.) some people managed to get away with taking a couple of things off the shelf, but I didn't stop them. Most of the food came from a local supermarket, and a pretty good amount of it was fresh and healthy stuff. (vegetables and fruits galore...)

I was expecting to see a lot of sad, embarrassed faces take the food that was offered, but instead they were generally happy and friendly. I managed to make conversation with a few of them. One was forced to come into the shelter 10 weeks out of the year because he could only work 20 hours a week at his job during the winter. Two people that seemed to be a couple couldn't decide whether they wanted a black forest cake or a cheesecake. They asked me which one I would take, to which I replied the black forest cake, because cheesecake makes me nauseous.

This all gave me an entirely new perspective of those in need. It not only made me appreciate what I have more, it also made me realize that a lot of what we can donate goes to nice and grateful people who just happen to be horribly down on their luck.

Also, during a work break, we got into this incredibly indepth conversation about all of these conspiracy theories and weird thinkings. Like, how someone fell asleep in the middle of a crop circle once and it doubled in size the next morning, and how 9/11 could really be a hoax, and how since thoughts could potentially hold matter and enough people hold belief in a God, God could potentially exist due to our thoughts combining to produce a single entity. That was fun.
---
A little more work on my mix has been completed today, and I think I know the direction that it's going in, which is quite the excitement.

I must be going, I'm seeing the Hurt Locker and playing Mario Kart with a couple friends.
'til tomorrow!

~-----~
Post script: I took a nap today for the first time in forever. This is how it made me feel.