Dave, you're right that people were saying the same thing I said one hundred years ago. I just find it impossible to envision what else could possibly be created.

I will admit that I'm pretty short-sighted.

More often than not.

I guess what I'm mostly worried about is that technology's getting progressively more dangerous. With the Large Hadron Collider, there were talks of this black hole that would envelop the Earth. With autonomous robots and supercomputers, there were and are and will be talks of them becoming overly self-aware, outsmarting us, and taking humans out of the equation. One hundred years ago, people weren't concerned that our world was going to overheat and then slip into an ice age, all caused by pollution and waste.

Sure, there have always been concerns about technology. I remember reading that when people saw the first steamboat moving down the river, they were positive that it was the product of Satan, what with the smoke coming out of the top and the loud noises that came out of it. But the concerns these days are too realistic to be taken for granted.

So that's where I stand on science.
In other news, I can't stop staring at this picture. I just finished Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, and it talks about the bombing of Dresden rather extensively, so I looked up some pictures of it, and this was my favorite by far.

Also, music's going well. Hopefully I'll have something finished by the end of the year.



a conversation

ofarevolution441 10:56 pm

now i'm arguing that there's so little in the world of math that's not already known and universally accepted as fact, so to pursue a career down that path would be rather pointless.

BeingBobina 10:57 pm

ofarevolution441 10:57 pm
as your voice would never actually have a chance of being truly heard

BeingBobina 10:58 pm
the scientific community is all about using other people's ideas to further your own to let other's use it to further THEIR research

ofarevolution441 10:59 pm
towards such pointless technologies that answer pointless questions about how we scientifically got to this exact moment in time
idk. i feel like it's the absolute wrong way to go about perceiving the universe

BeingBobina 11:00 pm
it's useful, and we wouldn't live in this kind of society without it

BeingBobina 11:00 pm
I just don't prefer it for myself :p

ofarevolution441 11:01 pm
i feel like technology could have stopped advancing 10 years ago and the world would be better off. because now we're just entering this downward spiral of informationinformationinformation
things go obsolete as soon as they're produced, things like that

BeingBobina 11:01 pm
attention spans are shorter, I've noticed

ofarevolution441 11:02 pm
the technology leading UP to this point has been undeniably useful

BeingBobina 11:02 pm
but that's assuming all people will choose to go for the newnewnew all the time

ofarevolution441 11:02 pm
but it's time to stop.
it really is.

ofarevolution441 11:02 pm
any technologies from here on out are just masturbatory "look what we can do!" statements, i swear

BeingBobina 11:02 pm
well, it's also the choice of the person to be aware of the technology but not conform to it

ofarevolution441 11:03 pm
yes, well guess what the average person's going to do when they see a shiny new metal object? go towards it.

BeingBobina 11:03 pm
it's a advancement of convenience for the already convenient

ofarevolution441 11:03 pm

BeingBobina 11:04 pm
I just have an iphone because it was the cheapest for the best value :p

ofarevolution441 11:04 pm
you consumer, you <3

BeingBobina 11:04 pm
but it's not like 'zomg iphone *downloads every app*'

ofarevolution441 11:04 pm

BeingBobina 11:05 pm

ofarevolution441 11:05 pm
it's pretty rad. but we're tangent-ing. the point is that english > science, as it allows people to realize their full potential, whereas science pushes towards goals that will always be toppled over and toppled over to infinity

BeingBobina 11:06 pm
well that could also be the appeal
that there is always something more concrete to reach for and discover

ofarevolution441 11:06 pm
well, if they're always toppled over to infinity, it's kind of pointless, innit?
but i guess we have to fill that quota of people who need to try hard to reach that infinity
otherwise it'll never be reached! and i rest my case.
circular logic, how does it work

BeingBobina 11:08 pm
the difference I see is that science is reaching for the next big thing, while literature is able to reach but also just be

ofarevolution441 11:09 pm
yes. and it's totally subjective, how you perceive it. i think that's it. that's why they're such opposites. science is completely objective, languages/arts are totally subjective.

BeingBobina 11:12 pm
humanities all the way
... across the sky

(and that's why i'm going to be an English major.)



the concept in this concept album

While I was in the shower, it just kind of hit me that all of the songs I've been writing fit together with a very loose thread. Here's my thought process song-by-song, although I won't tell you which song represents what part of the thought process, as that would kind of ruin the magic of it all.

Anyways, there's this kid who likes to dream. If he had things his way, he would always be sleeping and dreaming of things. His favorite part of the day is right before he goes to sleep, because he feels like his brain is the most active at that point. He likes all of the surreal imagery that's produced in dreams. So his love of dreams starts translating into real life, and his perception of what's happening and what's just a daydream nearly disappears, to the point where it starts to impact his ability to handle real-life situations and function normally. And this kind of dream-disease of his is worsening exponentially. But he likes it this way.

No one else likes it this way, so he becomes ostracized by nearly everyone he knows. Most of all, his long-time girlfriend, who decides to leave him since he promised her a while ago that he would grow up, but now it seems as though he's become more immature and childish.

The kid, although he usually has his head in the clouds, realizes his girlfriend has left him and this has a massive, devastating emotional impact on him. He goes to sleep that night looking for answers and he sees this war scene in which he dies. He interprets this as meaning that he should die in real life as well. So then he starts to go through with planning and leaving notes and everything, he's going to kill himself. But then all of a sudden, this massive beacon of light, reason, and hope just kind of beams down on him out of nowhere. And this beacon tells him that if he goes through with suicide, he would be sorely missed by so many more people than he thinks. It explains to the kid that there is an intrinsic love for everyone that exists in everyone, and he just has to open up that love in people by loving them in return, instead of himself. Realizing that he was, is, and will forever be truly loved, he stops the plans, and goes to a mountain where he just thinks and washes away his dream-disease. 15 years later, the birth of his son.

Yeah. I'm not sure how my subconscious managed to tie all of these songs together in that manner, but it happened. And I'm glad it did.



"Slow Motion" - Panda Bear - TrackReview

Score: 8

Going off of the fact that about 6,200 listeners have listened to the two Untitled tracks, and about 6,300 have listened to "Mich Mit Einer Mond", I estimate that around 10,000 decidedly hardcore fans of the Animal collective have listened to Noah Lennox's 1998 release Panda Bear, and well under 1/10th of that figure legally owns it. Released on the infinitesimal label Soccer Star, (now Paw Tracks) the album is a 14-track romp that genre-hops whenever it feels like it. The sound ranges from somber acoustic folk ("O Please Bring Her Back") to lo-fi, borderline disco ("We Built A Robot"). The first track, "Inside A Great Stadium And A Running Race" is a nearly six-minute exercise in minimalism that builds at a snail's pace until the song has just enough instrumentation for the vocals to finally come in and accompany the bare-bones soundscape.

This song, to me, is the most reflective on the album of the direction Panda Bear would later choose to delve into, although it hardly sounds like it stylistically. "Inside A Great Stadium And A Running Race" certainly wouldn't fit on Person Pitch, and definitely not Young Prayer. But it's the one instance on the album that I feel best represents Noah's lust for repetition and the art of minimalism, just having one or two ideas repeated ad infinitum. This is the one thread that has remained constant throughout his albums, and it's become increasingly more prevalent over time.

By now, it's beyond blatant. On "Slow Motion", the new track off of what will soon be his fourth LP, Tomboy, Panda drenches one- or two-word indistinguishable phrases in reverb, and repeats them... and repeats them... and repeats them. The vocals are placed atop a heavy, infectious, off-kilter drumline that remains unchanged for the duration of the song, but fades into the background stealthily, allowing the other elements to shine. The only thing that really brings change to the song is the dripping, rudimentary keyboard (or heavily-processed guitar?) line, as it establishes itself, shifts for a while, reprises, and then shifts once more. Outside of a few samples that only come to the listener's attention after a few listens, these three elements: the keyboard(?), the drums, and the singing, comprise the entire song. There's really just not much to it. But it works.

If the material on Person Pitch was sunny, then this song is an insight into what I expect will be its cloudy counterpart: sparse, a little bit darker, and more straightforward. I've been reading people say that this song is more of the same, and yes, to a certain extent, I see this song as a continuation. This song is actually scarily similar to "I'm Not" off of his last album. "Slow Motion", however, hints at a less sample-driven album. Still very echo-y, still very minimal, but without the samples pulled out of obscure songs. So it seems as though he's managed to figure out a way to maintain his old sound while keeping things fresh.

If you liked Merriweather Post Pavilion by Animal Collective or Person Pitch by Panda Bear, find a download of this.



You Are Loved Beyond Belief

Right now, there's just a fan going off.
Perpetual humming in your virgin ears
And your virgin heart, as it palpitates
To the arrhythmia of a different drum.

Right now, there's something drastic planned
Things are nowhere and you are nowhere
And all these horrible words and bad thoughts
Well, set aside the wine and put away the pills.
Yeah, I know it's tough
And yeah, I get you're lonely
But how good it is, how good it is
To know you're loved beyond belief.

Yeah, I know it's tough
And yeah, I get you're lonely
But how good it is, how good it is
To know you're loved beyond belief.
(oohs that become aahs)

So don't think for a second that
We're just things crossed out by infinity factorial
That there's no feeling in the heart of man
All enveloped by math and time.

Right now, there's a mountain
And it's covered in trees and granite
Even though there's thunder, go
And don't take your life, for granted.

Even though there's thunder, go
And don't take your life, for granted.
Even though there's thunder, go
And don't take your life, for granted.


(fades into a choir of pitch pipes and perepelka)

I'm excited about this one. It's the first song I've written in a while.

To bed.



Mt. Percival

Bixby, me, Rob, Robert, Will took 2.25 hours to find this little hole-in-the-wall mountain in the absolute middle of nowhere. When we finally did, we were all at once excited and concerned to see that we were the only people parked at the bottom. We had seen a few people at the foot of another mountain a couple minutes prior, but this one was just ours, it seemed.

The plan was to go on a 4.5 hour hike up two mountains, Mt. Percival and Mt. Morgan. It started off great. It was hot and pretty beautiful out, and we were moving at a pretty brisk pace up some pretty daunting, near-vertical faces. I was getting immensely into it. I started running at a couple of points, just totally immersed in my surroundings while simultaneously focused on nothing but what was ahead of me on the trail.

At third break, we stopped on top of this huge rock in this little clearing. We were approaching the summit, maybe about another 10 minutes and we were there. We had been hiking for probably about an hour. While Will and I were catching up (Will had a bit of a headache, and I wanted to make sure he was alright, so I stayed behind with him for a spell), I heard Bixby point out a dark cloud and say

"It would SUCK if a thunderstorm came right now."

Not more than 30 seconds later, the first clap. Here we are, the five of us, high up, surrounded by trees and without any semblance of a clue of what to do. A flash, and then immediately a surrounding BOOM. it's right over our heads. And we're stuck on a mountain. For a few minutes, we all feel like our lives are in genuine danger. I look to Bennett for solace, but for once, he's as worried as I am. We stay put. We stay put for 10 minutes. We just sit and wait for another thunderclap and flash of lightning to tell whether it's receding or still present. it's still present after ten minutes, and we're getting progressively more concerned. My heart won't slow down, and I feel like I'm starting to shake.

Finally, a sign from God. A hiker comes rushing down the mountain, and we stop him dead in his tracks. Help us, we have no idea what to do in this situation. Well, I wouldn't keep going up because the rocks will be slippery. Ok, thanks.

He doesn't even mention the storm that's all around us, but we take this as a signal to go down the mountain. Rob and I scurry down ahead with the car keys, but he starts slowing down. I'm still in a panic, so I take the car keys and walk as quickly as possible. There's still lightning and thunder as I'm descending, and I'm all by myself. I'm drenched, my pants are weighing me down and preventing me from going faster. Still the thunder, still the lightning.

So I start praying, of all things. And I'm not a religious person, I'm agnostic. But I was desperate and scared. And almost as soon as I started praying, the rain and thunder start to subside. And I'm thankful to whatever God I'm now going to choose to believe in. And now I know there's a God. But there's still the occasional rumble, and my unnamed God's telling me to be careful. And I say that I'll walk with caution from now, God. And I turn into a mumbling fool.

Finally, I spot the overhang that was our first big obstacle, and I know I'm close. And the last faint rumble. I clamber into the van, and wait for my friends. They all show up. Rob and Nesbit shortly after me, followed by Bixby and Will a little while after. We're alive, and we celebrate that we're alive by going to a fried chicken place in town. Chester Fried.


i've determined that i'm giving up on the blog every day project.
quality > quantity from here on out.



Listen to all of these immediately. But first read the poem below this post. Kthx.



The gentle eye of a genteel businessman
Absorbs + computes what is before Him
This, our balding, aging, greying protagonist.
A bubbly bimbo with bugbites for breasts
Lounges flirtatiously at the arm of Carl Batterby in row B
With He, lonely, in row C.
Carl, drunk after only one inning, sprays mists
Of a dirty concoction: saliva, alcohol, frankfurter
Onto the slender visage of Katerina, the whore,
While mucking up a joke that she wouldn't quite
grasp even if the portly lawyer were sober.
In seat 13, a little bit farther over
A child of four
s'appelle Guillaume, pushes further
Sa mère et son père to PLEASE JUST FOR THIS ONE NIGHT
Lemme get popcorn AND peanuts.
He smirks. A call to vendor Dan
A toss of a bag! a bit too far! a slip-up grim!
And a light *crunch* as it comes to rest.
Doomed legumes mingle with cigarette butts
On the cement Earth.


steal all my children if i don't pay the ransom

feels braindead right now. heat, brute work, and creative death. no new songs, no recording progress, too much real life. i read tax forms today, and worked for 2.5 hours. sending in an application tomorrow.

at least i've been listening to better music.



Jour d'Independance

4th of july party. dad's friends have been here for hours and hours and hours and show no immediate signs of leaving. loud dadrock's been playing and playing and playing, loud, loud, loud. no one to talk to either. none of my dad's friend's kids came this year. all my friends are up north. bobina's online, though.

nothing day. computer, piano, accordion, nothing else.

work tomorrow for a few hours. then time with girl. and then time with nesbit, hopefully.

i'm kinda down right now. i just need this day to end.






"I (underscore)stand."

cigarette smoke rears its ugly head into the house upon my uncle's return to the living room. the first time i've smelled it in this house in years. he's staying with us for a week, while the family tries to figure out what can be done about his dementia. he seems rather about his wits, except for the occasional lapse. i think my family's more paranoid about letting him be autonomous than he's demented.

earlier today, he went off for a walk with the two dogs, although i told him he shouldn't go any further than the apartments on my street. after helping him out getting the dogs leashed, i proceeded to watch some of the world cup with bobina, who was spending the day with me. we had gone out to eat breakfast and spent a while traversing the people-infested, bro-ridden, quasi-rocky sands of Jenness Beach. anyways, my mom came home, and told me that she saw my uncle with the two dogs at the top of the street. he went past the apartments, and was crossing the street. i told her that i told him to not go that far. she then panicked, hopped into the car, and went on a search mission for him. after a few minutes, i was now panicking myself, she called and said she couldn't find him. so Bobina and i hopped in her car, and frantically searched for him as well. no dice. i was starting to imagine that we were going to have some missingpersons case on our hands, and i was going to be solely responsible for the disappearance of my uncle and the two dogs. bobina and i resolved that we'd go home, and hope he'd come back. a few minutes later, my mom called telling us she found him, with both the dogs still at his side. he made it home and told us that he had gone down to his old dock where he used to have his boat, and neither of them barked. i was dumbfounded. and lucky, he was going to turn down the wrong street to get back to our house if my mom hadn't caught up with him.

he also left the garage door wide open.

outside of this incident, and a couple other minor ones, he's perfectly conversational and mellow, alright to be around with. i don't get it. i don't get brains, i guess. he's sniffling a little bit right now.



and am i still here

caught in a crossfire
insanity or recklessness
or what

what happened to you? people.

loss of faith. trust. roles.