for the last
few days i've felt listless.

going through
the motions living life day

in and day out

that i might trudge up to the fourth
floor even though i live on third
and as i realize

and as i realize my mistake
and start walking back down
the fire alarm goes off
and i can't even tell
if i pulled it.


in and day out


The End Of This Blog.

I'm shutting "A Day In The Life of A Teen Nightlight" down on March 20th, the 5-year anniversary of my first post here.

It's run its course: as a blog, as a site for my poetry, as everything else that I may have used it for.
It's served me well.
It's time for something else.

There's quite a bit of history running in the annals of this blog...
My first legitimate recording session.
The end of my piano lessons.
My first trip to NYC and how heavy that was.
Seeing Jeff Mangum live. Holy shit, seeing Jeff Mangum live.
Writing down every single song idea I had coursing through my veins in those first days where I figured I would try songwriting...
Talent shows.
How I never won a single talent show.
And how I still kind of resent that.
A lot of poetry.
And so many other assorted thoughts and pieces all rearranged into an organized space.

And I'm just going to throw it away.

I am what some people might call "temporally obsessed." I don't like looking back on things that I've done from a few years ago, because the past always feels like yesterday to me. As a result, I become aware of my present mortality and a mini-existential crisis ensues. It seems silly, because it is. But time genuinely bothers me. I think I've made that clear in many of the posts I've made here over the years... This blog is just always going to be here if I don't do something about it. I'm having similar feelings towards my YouTube channel right now. These things that I've created will sit and serve as pleasant nostalgia, but more prominently as a sign that I'm only getting older.

I just want to exist outside the context of the Internet. I really do. I want to start going places, networking with people, finding shows to play at, being creative with friends. To not have the fleeting thought of maintaining a *PRESENCE* linger over my head every time I visit a website.

Writing on here's done a lot for me. It's helped me document and track my progress into becoming a person who can write, record, produce, and release music, who can musically collaborate with others, who can jot his mind onto a piece of paper whenever he wants to. Who can, once in a while, dream big.

So it's time that I wrap things up and put it to sleep. I'll be blogging in a notebook from now on.

Thanks to everyone who's been following over the years, if there are any of you left at this point. I love you a lot.




Beats hour:
Burial  - Loner
Young Magic – Jam Karet
Lapalux – Moments
Fresh Arcade - ٩(•)۶
Goth-Trad – Anti-Grid
Dream Consequence – B Free
Portico Quartet - Ruins

Ambient hour:
Grouper – Demona (Dead Moon cover)
Lotus Plaza – These Years
Lapalux – Face Down, Eyes Shut
Julianna Barwick – Never Change
Force Tranquille - Aelab
0318 – Fennesz + Sakamoto


/////All Life/////

I wish that I had more to say.
All life passes in this way.