I've never walked so far to clear a headache.

New ideas emerging on the piano.

Last night, I took about an hour and a half to go to bed. I went to bed at 2, so I actually slept at around 3:30. My mind was just racing. I don't remember most of it now, but I do remember scraps. I'm pretty sure at one point I started thinking about Howie Mandel.

I started thinking about video ideas, as well as *itches hair* what I want to do in college. English and chemistry (maybe cognitive science?) double major would be pretty sweet. Ambitious, and kind of bizarre, but those are a couple of things that I'm really interested in pursuing. *itches hair* Science journalism would be a nice use of both sides of my brain, and I want to be able to do something that brings both the classical mode of thinking and the romantic mode of thinking to use in my occupation. Very few options, science journalism is one of those options. Music major would be another option, but a music *itches hair* diploma has very few practical uses unless I want to join the Boston Pops. Seriously, the dandruff has to stop.

Another Dumbledore's Army show is lined up for tomorrow at the Scituate Public Library in Massachusetts. 7:30. Bring a friend, bring a therapist. We're expecting it to be a lot better than the Portsmouth show. We reconvened, played some new songs, and we're expecting a really high energy and loud show in comparison to the last one. We're gonna rock the library to its foundations. And if it doesn't go well, then we're calling it quits, probably. Hope it doesn't come to that. I really don't. *pulled a HOlden and itched hair again*




NOTEThe title is very similar to the initials of "System of A Down".But the title is not in reference to System of A Down.

It refers to the "Song of the Day", which is below. Baths is a one-man project who produces glitch-infused, laid-back electronic music. This is off his debut, Cerulean, which I believe has already come out in America but has yet to come out in the UK. In any case, it doesn't matter, listen FFS.

I have nothing else to say. Today was just alright. Saw the movie "9", which was OK, played wiffleball, which is OK, felt barely alive at one point of the day, which was not OK.

But I discovered the chord C7(13) today, with Bb as the root. and I really like it. So that's a plus. *jazz*


i don't know what happened

i'm kind of in a haze right now. my eyes are heavy. and i don't really feel very good.


I played basketball with some mentally challenged kids, and then proceeded to play the worst show of Dumbledore's Army career with Dumbledore's Army. So bad, in fact, that we all felt like quitting the band afterwards. It was at the Portsmouth Public Library, and the crowd wasn't that great, save a few people. We managed to mess up every song in some fashion, we suffered technical difficulties throughout, I lost a drum stick, the ride cymbal was messed up. It was a complete mess, to put it lightly.

We're glad it's over, and we're still looking forward to playing Scituate Public Library on Thursday. But this was bad.

Song of the day to cheer me up: Pattern is Movement's "Light of the World"

sweet dreams.




This (skip to like 40 minutes in)

Today was spent with Bobina! Whale-watching! OMG!



Turn my head/into sound

Well, last night ended weird.

I left a pretty typical post (into which I put almost no effort.) and then downloaded the album Loveless by My Bloody Valentine. Picture below:

I started listening to it, got halfway through pretty unaffected. And then I closed my eyes and turned the volume up for a few minutes. This, my friends, is the first time I've felt my whole soul get touched by music. I started reliving every aspect of my past, memories that I had figured were completely lost. When I was 10 and got my caricature at Disney, only I demanded that my parents fork out the extra money to have it done in color. I nearly through a hissy fit in public. When I was 7, and went sledding down the makeshift hill my dad would make out of my swingset every year. In 3rd grade, when I sat around a swingset with a couple of people and heard a frightening story about a murderer that stuck in my memory for sometime afterwards. My imaginary friend Kevin, my stuffed polar bear T-T, my 'pet skunk' Skunky. Some of the many. And I realized that, we can keep on living our childhood in our adulthood. We can keep imagining, and we can keep playing, and we can keep exploring. It's just a new phase of that, and I realized that life's not as bad as I used to think. And life doesn't need to be linear and grey. We can experience new things every day and exist outside of what's normal and rational and linear and grey.

So having realized this, after the album finished, I just kind of sat there with my eyes closed for a couple of minutes, said goodnight to my dad, walked into my room, looked around a little bit in the dark

and cried. I cried. And I lay down on my bed and cried some more, as more and more lost memories kept coming back. I relived my whole life, it felt. Some of the crying turned to laughter and smiling. And then the emotions left and I slept.

Listen to this album (loud) and see if the same things happen to you.



The Return of The Thing

Vlog/Blog for tuhday!



A Good Day


I have a new song up on my myspace! listen to it here:


I got a 2120 on my SATs, which doesn't even make sense to me. Miracle. 750 on writing, 690 on reading, 680 on math. I might retake, just for the sake of improving on math, which I thought was my strongest section.

Today, I started recording for thenewnorm podcast with Eliot. It was a lot of fun, we analyzed a flagrantly anti-gay Christian rock song on YouTube for about 30 minutes, and discussed why sophomore efforts are typically letdowns before a thunderstorm started to approach my house and we were forced to stop.

I ate two plates full of Chinese food, and Robert downed a cup of Jello in under 5 seconds. Remarkable.

I played piano at Best Buy with some old guy I'd never met before. He'd start playing something on one piano, and I'd accompany him on another piano. It was incredibly fun. Strange at first, but it became fun.

It ended.


I'm Already Halfwaythere...halfwaythere... halfwaythere

Ben, I've heardsay that they're coming out with a full-length movie next year. If this is true, I will be a very, very happy child.



I start up a podcast with Eliot from England tomorrow. It's called "thenewnorm", and it's a continuation of what we started doing on our YouTube channel "THENEWNORM" a ways back.
The podcast is going to be a halfmusic halfgeneralconversation thing. Should be TON O' FUN. Link will be provided when the first 'cast is up.

Also, 3kewldoods is returning from hiatus on Monday. Here's the link to the channel if you're unaware (with appropriate link color scheme 'n' all):




today was spent burning schoolwork and watching an episode of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. which was terrible.




I've Made A Huge Mistake.

I watched 11 episodes of Arrested Development today. My mind is filled with quotes and tidbits from the show. Here are some. (from just the 3rd season, because those are the episodes that I saw today.)

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog. Analrapist (analyst and therapist) . Mister F. MRF. Mentally Retarded Female. For British eyes only. Take this and love us again! That was a freebie. There's no "I" in "win"! MY NAME IS... JUDGE.


One more final, and then summer starts. To celebrate, let's listen to this, but not watch the video, because the video's painfully average and not nearly what I visualized when I first heard this JAM OF A LIFETIME:




Things that irk me

- the fact that, even though my french teacher could replace my missing books via Amazon for a fraction of the cost of buying through the company, she must buy through the company, forcing me to fork up upwards of $100 instead of what could be $60 or less. It's the same information, in the same condition, and yet I'm paying more? For books that I could have sworn were in my locker since the beginning of this semester?

- the sound of the ceiling fan that's whirring over my head as I type this.

- my new and beautiful Korg SP-170 has one major flaw about it. I have a 1/4" wire to plug a keyboard into my amp. The Korg has a 1/8" socket. This means that I have to get a whole new cable , which will set me back even more money (since my parents will expect to be paid back in full for my missing books. i don't blame them.). I don't even have a steady job right now.

- mechanical pencils with the eraser missing.

- the letter S.

- the english final that's probably gonna kick my face tomorrow.

- not sleeping right now.




entewayz, today was spent watching Amelie, which was one of the most uplifting and optimistic movies I've ever seen. Also, it was in French. I caught a good amount of it.

My schedule for senior year is:

AP Calc BC
AP English
Anatomy and Physiology
French V
US And World Affairs
Some other course

I got 13 hours of sleep last night. And I started listening to Aphex Twin. My only impression of him was Come To Daddy, which was really not that inviting. But listen to these.

Also, this comic.


Korg SP-170! Toy Story 3!

Today, is the day, that I got my digital piano. It sounds so unbelievably good and warm and natural. I have a few minor gripes, because sometimes some notes skip from soft to loud if I hit them with the same force, and that doesn't sound that good. But it's hardly noticeable, so I don't even care at all. But I can move my fingers faster on it than any other piano i've used before, which is lovely, and I can definitely do all of my songs on it, which means I can do shows whenever. Which is a big step forward.

I haven't worked on the music I've recorded in some time now. Maybe I'm giving up for now. Maybe I'll just find shows. I don't even.

In other, even happier news, I saw Toy Story 3 and nearly cried. So that's not happy news at all. Seriously, it was scary at points and the end was really really sad. SPOILER ALERT: ALL THE TOYS DIE AT THE END.




Celtics lost. Finals start tomorrow. Nearly done. Need to find some books. And some sleep.

Normal-sized post in the tomorrow.




"Glorious, pious and immortal memory. The lodge of Diamond in Armagh the splendid behung with corpses of papishes. Hoarse, masked and armed, the planters covenant. The black north and true blue bible. Croppies lie down."

While I only got 147 pages through Ulysses when I made a futile attempt at reading it back in February, I enjoyed it immensely. You can't read it like a typical book. You have to read and re-read it, and each time you read it, you start figuring it out, you start getting into the mind of the person who's being focused on. It's remarkable. I'm never gonna bother to finish the remaining 600ish pages, but it's absolutely remarkable.

in other news, today was boring. I went to the doctors, played too much chess, lost too much chess. This is the life. Zombie.




"Still a fascinating thing to me, how we go through life constructing our own reality, and how malleable that reality can be." - I don't know the author, exactly.

In any case.



Response/9 videos of songs on a single post.

Dave, (hi!), I wasn't so much trying to say that there will inevitably be a massive switch in the mindset of our society that would turn everyone towards alternative energy, I was just thinking that it would hopefully set some lightbulbs off and cause people to think twice about other options. However, I do realize now that I kind of came off a bit too idealistic. Also, you're totally right about BP's bankruptcy messing a bunch of shit up, should have done my research on pension. :o

As for citing the sources, Ben (hi to you as well!), my English teacher doesn't exactly care about citations, which is kind of concerning since I'm off to college next year. *nervous laughter*

I appreciated the output, guys!
Now that THAT'S over, I've been listening to a bit too much music as of late, and here's some of it.

Lost Wisdom by Mount Eerie (Indie folk)

F'in Rad/Sugar Buns by Little Kingdoms (Laid-back indie rock a la Pinback)

Sense, Sensibility by Andrew Jackson Jihad (Fastpaced indie-folk-almostpunk)

Blue in Green by Miles Davis (The epitome of beautiful jazz)

Solid Ground by Maps & Atlases (Mildly mathy folk-ish rock.)

Luau by Drive Like Jehu (An incredible, neverending post-hardcore jam.)

Zoothorns/Crimewave by HEALTH (This one's just crazy.)

Throat I by Little Women (This one's even crazier.)

And, FINALLY, It's All Gonna Break by Broken Social Scene (Indie rock. Epic. Massive. Moving. Why are you always fucking ghosts?)

If you managed to sit through all of these in one sitting, congratulations. But go outside and see the world. Even if it's like 2 in the morning. Please.




I wrote a cause and effect essay on the BP Oil Spill. Here it is.

On April 20, 2010, there was an explosion on an oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico, not far from the Mississippi Delta. The explosion resulted in the deaths of 11 people and the opening of an oil gusher 10,000 feet below sea level. The oil company BP was vastly responsible for this spill, as it allowed for the platform to remain in use despite the fact that the platform didn't meet certain safety criteria. Despite BP's various attempts to cap the gusher, the oil continues to flow out, at the rate of about 30,000 barrels per day at the time of writing. With no end in sight to the spill, many people are starting to wonder what its long-term effects will be. I believe that this marée noire, as the French call it, will result in a global environmental holocaust, the downfall of BP, and a catalyzed interest in alternative energy.

While relatively contained at first, the oil is now spreading quickly across the coast of Florida. The once beautiful tropical waters of the peninsula are quickly turning into a brown wasteland. Not only does this have the potential to ravage the tourism industry of the region, it also has the potential to ravage the wildlife of the region. The spreading crude could make extinct thousands of species who rely on the waters of the Gulf of Mexico as part of their ecosystem. Large quantities of fish and amphibians could die off from the oil getting into their gills, and multiple varieties of birds could die off from not having any fish to eat. These three types of animals comprise half of the types of animals in existence. If the oil manages to work its way into the Gulf Stream, it could spread its wrath all across the planet, wreaking pure havoc on the food chain as we know it. This deconstruction of the chain would eventually reach humans, and millions upon millions of people would go hungry, in addition to the ones who are already dying from hunger. This, to me, is the most salient effect of the spill, and the one that will have the most dire consequences.

A more positive result from this spill would be the destruction of BP. Their ineffective solutions and falsifyed reports about the amount of oil spilling out exemplify the irresponsible, arrogant, and clueless nature of the company in this state-of-emergency situation. Many people, as a result of BP's poor response to the situation, are choosing to boycott the company, refusing to buy oil from them and holding nationwide protests. Facebook pages advocating the elimination of offshore drilling have risen in number rapidly in response to the spill. Millions of members have joined such groups as "1,000,000 Strong Against Offshore Drilling" and "Boycott BP". All of this protest and anti-BP sentiment is quickly accumulating into what could be BP's last stand: bankruptcy. While the death of the company would result in the loss of thousands of jobs, it would also be an appropriate end to the company. They are at fault for a gigantic disaster, so they should, in my opinion, not have the right to be in operations anymore.

BP's bankruptcy would be a momentous step in the push for alternative energy. I wrote this essay with the intent of opening up peoples' minds about the corrupt nature of oil companies. For years upon years, they have exploited the modern worlds' addiction to oil, and have profited in what is now a multi-trillion dollar industry. The addiction has become so strong that some are concerned over what will become of society once we run out of oil. What people need to realize is that there are alternatives to substances that can be used to make products, and that there are alternatives to the methods through which these substances are produced. Recycled plastic, recycled fiber, wood, metals, and glass are just some alternatives to freshly-made plastic. Solar energy, wind energy, geothermal energy, hydroelectric energy, and nuclear energy are all alternatives to fossil fuel energy. The only problem that is keeping these sources from being mass produced is the monopolization of the energy industry on behalf of the oil companies.

This is the effect that I hope will come out of this disaster over all others: that people will finally acknowledge the existence of alternatives, and will be finally willing to pursue these alternatives instead of obliviously running our planet into the ground due to the greed of oil companies.



Catch for us the sadness

Today, I was supposed to hang out with my friends. They accidentally ditched me, which set me off, because I have a limited amount of time left with them. I got over it though, since sometimes, people just forget or don't have room.

That's my story.

I got Catch For Us The Foxes by mewithoutYou today and i'm listening profusely. And I saw the majority of LCD Soundsystem's set at Bonnaroo, which was good, amidst all of the trolls being like "UGH."

That's my other story.

Lots of shit happening tomorrow. Getting my digital piano, going to some graduation parties, writing an english paper.

as we go on we remember all the good times we had ensemble.



Boom chakalaka

Friends graduated, gone fishin'.

Be back tomorrow. "Kind of."



To Me

Second song's not as done as I thought it was. Celtics are winning with their 2nd string. Got my yearbook. Friends are graduating tomorrow. End of an era. Bygones, memories, be gone. Miles Davis. Growing facial hair. Need a shave, Bobina insists I grow it out. Obedience Whatever. And the thoughts. Sibilance, sibilance, I have it. So much work trying to produce it out. Pet peeves.

Brain mush throwing out of a window, the silver platters, on a snowy orange evening, onto the Brooklyn hard concrete, and the trumpets sound softly. Walking pace, legato, staccato, moving towards whenever. Conventional inkjets. A sorry SWAT team, some lonely mechanics, some sombre movement amongst the gently swaying hedges. Upper class, middle class, lower class : Little kid kicking stones down towards Maplecrest, little bills in the crack addict's shaking, aching, breaking hand. Pictures. Pictures. And portraits. Sketches and we are nothing more than red, orange, and green spattered onto the landscape and tearing into my visions. We inhibit, we inhabit, we are, we were, we will be, we will have been. All souls, all gymnos, All Blues. Words, words, words. They speak the mind and they are the mind, as you are.




I'm somehow already done with 2 songs for this album. One took 5 weeks, the other just today.



What do you think of the Ian McKellen impersonation? What do you think of the Sea Wolf song? Why was GG Allin so crazy?




That's French for progress if you couldn't tell.

At this moment, my dog is moaning whilst scratching herself, my mom is frantically rummaging through my backpack for the check I said was in there, and it still is, and I'm typing words that are being thrown into my head by synapses connecting with each other.

Today. Today. Today. Was great. I landed a per diem job at a shoe store, I OFFICIALLY finished a song for the album, and I got the piano recorded for the next song that I'm gonna be working on. On top of that, I dropped taking psychology so that I could take French V next year (Je passerai un examen AP français l'année prochaine. Souhaitez-moi bonne chance?), and I forced myself to go on a (fast) 20 minute run.

So this is my face right now:

And I've determined that, since I kind of want there to exist a dialogue of sorts, since I'm frankly getting kind of bored just posting and that's that, I'm gonna start asking questions at the end of every post. One can answer as many as one wants. Just in case someone runs across a post one day and they're like "Hey, I have something to say about that interesting and relevant topic, and I think I'm gonna say something right now about it and yeah." If no one answers, I dun care, we're still friends.

With what have you made the most progress on in the last year? Do you think that society has a whole is making progress or moving backwards? Do you like that I'm asking questions? What's the color of the sky on Mars?

Song of the day:





but PTSD's finally done, and I'm sending it to Zane for a joint release that we're doing. I'm also gonna put it on my album, which I'll now say is going to be called "You Are Loved Beyond Belief". This guy, John Halligan, came to my school to tell the story of his son, who committed suicide after being bullied. Nearly in tears, he exclaimed over and over to us, in a plea to avoid any of us from taking our own lives: "You are loved beyond belief! Don’t ever believe for a second that you don’t matter. You are loved beyond belief!" The sheer ferocity and sincerity with which he said those five words nearly brought me to tears. It was the most powerful thing I've ever witnessed. So that's that.

The title also works with my cover, as it's my great-grandfather and his brothers standing around an old pickup truck from the 20s.

Volunteered yesterday. It sucked. I singlehandedly took care of a snack and drink tand in front of the start/finish line at a 5k road race, and set up cones all over the place. I was horribly busy.

And I need to cut this short because my mom's shouting at me to get off the computer.

You are loved beyond belief.
You are loved beyond belief.
You are loved beyond belief.



Don't worry, blog

I'll post on you plenty tomorrow. Seriously, a lot happened today. Too much, even.

But for now, I have to finish up this 1000 word essay in French that's slowly tearing my soul into pieces.



Party and Bixby

no time to write.
SATs today. did alright, I think.
then played a show at a party with George And the Bisons. Imp crowd.

Have to get up tomorrow to volunteer at a road race. and then I have to write my French essay from hell.

my life.




I went to Bobina's high school graduation today, by myself. It was admittedly awkward, but it's about her, not me, so it's cool. As I saw the green and white caps and gowns filter down onto the field, I saw her, and a few people behind her, I saw the last person. I started postulating what his name was. Yeardley. Zimmerman. It turned out to be Young, I think.

In any case, I met some of her friends after the ceremony, and, being intrinsically socially awkward, there was a lot of awkward moments. I could have asked "How does it feel to be graduated?" or any other question, but instead the majority of the conversations passed like this:

Bobina: This is Jay.
Person: Hi, Jay.
Jay: Hi, Person.

I'm working on it. One day, I'll be able to have conversation with people.

The commencement speech was strangely moving. She related some qualities of the graduates to various scientific concepts, and I thought it was all very clever and well-done. Sincere, heartfelt, other adjectives.

I have SATs in the morning, so I'm gonna end this post here. But before I go, let me just show you this:

Zanois at Barnstock. Good stuff, man.



things fall apart

Current mood: painfully reminiscent, je n'en peux plus
Now playing: The Curse by Cults

Lately, I've been forgetting things. Instead of going to a very important National Honor Society meeting yesterday, in which I would have been inducted as Vice President, I went home, and realized where I should have been too late. And instead of writing an e-mail today to my National Honor Society adviser apologizing, I played piano.

and I'm getting progressively angrier at my mom's incessant griping. Broken records after broken records. Do your homework (which I do every day), have some honey for your throat (it does nothing), you really need to find a job. (I'm painting someone's house this summer, and I could potentially be doing a non-paying spiel for an online music site.) I will admit that I need a legitimate part-time job, though. So after a lot of contemplation, I've determined that I'm filling in an application to a local McDonalds tomorrow. I can't afford to be picky anymore, I can't afford to have standards, I can't afford to not work. I wanted to apply to Rite-Aid, which would have gotten me ins in the pharmacy world if I wanted to pursue pharmacy, but they're full up right now, apparently. Well, a new girl just started working there and isn't that just great.

The vast majority of my friends are leaving high school now (for most people, today was their last day, although their last official day was yesterday), and through all of the yearbook-signings and memory-havings, I've realized that this is going to be the beginning of a painful, lonely era.

The three good things about this week have been seeing Bobina for a little bit today, coming up with an album title (to be announced eventually), and learning about Daniel Tammet. Who learned Icelandic in 7 days and memorized 22,000 digits of pi. Proof that the impossible is possible. I also like how he describes numbers with colors and specific scenes and moods. I'm trying to wrap my brain around his, I'll probably end up getting one of his books just out of sheer curiosity.

Sounds like there's someone walking outside. Could just be the leftover raindrops. Probably is.




Even if I don't get the numbers right
Even if I'm never on time
Even if I forget things
I'm still here right now
Standing on this mountain
With just You.

I PRETTY MUCH finished PTSD today, put the final touches into the mix. (4:00-4:45 gets really, really weird.) Not so sure about the vocals I just added, they might need a little bit of adjustment. It's a little bit inconsistent with the rest of the vocals, though.


Got Worries

chemistry questions. french essay. french scrapbook. history test. SEARCH application. and hardly any of it's done or prepared for. life has disgustingly returned back to normal.

But there's good news. On June 13th, I'm set to pick up my digital piano. And, as soon as the summer starts, I'm recording and producing until my brain falls out. I also might be doing a series of shows with Zanois. It's all tentative, but I'm looking forward to my musical future. It's promising, for once.