New York Cares.

I don't know. One day I'm in my hometown, the next I'm in the heart of New York City sitting next to her while she studies for her Japanese midterm. I wake up at 7:30, catch a 9:00 bus to Boston that arrives at South Station at 10:15, and from there I take a bus down to New York City that arrives at 2:50, about 25 minutes ahead of the projected time. Bobina has to hurry from the subway down to the bus stop. She arrives two minutes ahead of me. We meet up, hug, and then start walking.

Which is when anxiety sets in, natch. I'm a townie, always have been a townie, always will be a townie, so there is invariably some degree of culture shock when I go into the city. So as we're walking to her dorm complex in the freezing cold, I feel a single bead of sweat tear down my forehead. I feel my pace quickening, I feel my breath becoming more laborious. She mocks me and jokes about it, and I laugh along while remaining on edge.

Anxiety sets in. This time I'm immersing myself in the mecca of all cities, NYC, from tonight until Sunday morning. She attempts to assuage me; she knows that these streets are harmless. Regardless, they still hold a level of danger in my eyes. Pickpocketing happens all the time, says my family. People get beat up, maimed, brutalized, and murdered in the city, says the media. Lies, lies, lies, says Bobina.

And except for the guy who was screaming bloody murder behind us as we walked back from Times Square, she was right. People are, well, strangely normal in the city. People have their destinations, and if someone gets in their way, the hell with them. It's almost as if everyone that roams the streets of NYC have read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and adhere to its objectivist principles. Which is fine, because they're too busy worrying about themselves to worry about me. Realizing this, my fears are quelled. Finally.

I still don't like being brutally surrounded by buildings, which is why I'll never adjust to cities. I still feel a strange mixture of claustrophobia and agoraphobia (claustroagoraphobia?) when I look at skyscrapers, and I think that'll remain permanent. On the same hand, buildings everywhere provide you with limitless opportunity. Today alone I a) nearly picked up a pack of Pokemon cards at the big Toys R Us b) got a quarter pound of M&Ms at the three-level M&Ms store c) ate the best chicken ever from a food cart called "The Halal Guys" and d) walked down to a Salvation Army, located atop an apartment building. Tomorrow, I'm going to a Marnie Stern/Tera Melos concert which is bound to be spectacular.

But there's still something, other than the buildings, that prevents me from falling in love with NYC. I'm not sure what it is. I don't know.

~-~