3/24/10

The School of Controlism

I had a hard speed workout today. It wasn't that hard of a workout, but it's early into our spring track season, so I felt near death at the end of it. I finished my first 200 meter sprint in front of everyone else, but by the end (there were eight 200s, with limited rest), a few people were destroying me. We then went on a 10 minute cool-down, which I thought would be fine.

But then my legs started going into random spasms at random intervals. It forced me to walk at some points, and even when I was walking, they'd still go off.

As soon as I got home, I fell on the couch and my mind started racing. What do you have control over? You don't have control over your own body, evidently. Your legs are proving that. You also don't have control over your body when it gets sick, or when it will die. You don't have control over your heartbeat or your breathing. You don't have control over your past, and you don't have control over the future. You don't have control over the present, because there's no such thing as the present. the future is... now. the future is... now. the future is... now. Maybe I have control over my actions or other people's actions, but it's only temporary, partial control. Some actions are done naturally, without any rhyme or reason. Technology has a mind of its own, government has a mind of it's own. You get a minimal amount of participation in the development of both of these, but you also have to be a part of the majority to have any effect. And you have no control over who's the majority and who's the minority. You might feel like you have control if you're the CEO of some big company, but that's superficial. They still can come and go as they please. You have a control over the system, not the people. There's no permanent control to be had. My legs continued to pulsate until, defeated, I finally found sleep.
---
On the way to practice, I took the shortcut that I 'trespass' through. You may or may not remember that post I had a couple months back about my philosophy on trespassing. Well, now, there's a sign posted saying "No Trespassing: Private Property." I continued walking past it. A couple people getting out of their cars kind of looked at me. I wondered if they'd take a picture and call the cops or something. I kind of played out my defense. Land is land is land is land...

I can't think anymore.
State math meet tomorrow.
Goodbye.

~-~

2 comments:

Dave said...

It would be quite a burden having control over any of those things. Imagine if you had to force your heart to beat... You'd die when you went to sleep!

Jay said...

hahaha, valid point.

but it's just the fact that I felt powerless over everything that kind of freaked me out a bit.